Q & A WITH MELANIE
WHAT IS THE BARE MELCESSITIES ALL ABOUT?

When I was recovering from divorce, depression and a severe case of people pleasing, I heard a voice singing in my head, "Look for the Bare Necessities. The simple Bare Necessities."

Following my heart, I wrote this book about a year spent healing my soul after divorce based on the simple principle that finding my "Inner Bare" would lead the way out of the darkness.

It did. Now, I invite readers to find theirs.

What is The Bare Melcessities?

The Bare Melcessities is a written self portrait of the year I spent starting over after a divorce.  It’s my version of getting back to the basics, of baring it all, of sharing an experience through a spiritual journey in search of enlightenment. When the lyrics from one of the songs from The Jungle Book kept playing in my head like a mantra, ‘look for the Bare Necessities.’  It was a clear message being broadcast and it was time to listen. It was time to remember the truth. It was time to look for the simple Bare Melcessities.

Why did you write The Bare Melcessities?

So I wouldn’t forget. Heartbreak occupies it's own unique space in the universe. I had raced through everything to ‘get somewhere’ only to realize I had missed everything. Like Joan Didion’s Year of Magical Thinking (Vintage Books) I wanted to understand what happened, make sense of it. And.,I guess I wanted to see what it looked like to be with myself, stripped down. To get some perspective. and while it was painful, I could feel the wisdom rippling through every tear. I had become intrigued by a series of self portraits; Van Gogh’s Self Portraits after he had cut his ear off, lyricist Edward Kleban’s Self Portrait from A Class Act, Diane Arbus revealing photographs. It provided the inspiration and jumping off point.  There’s no grander drama than taking the time to get to know yourself, free from 'the relationship,' remembering who you are, and, I guess I wanted to celebrate the victories and the setbacks, to spend time in care and feeding all the parts of myself and mostly I didn’t want to repeat the same patterns that had dominated my existence and left me cold, with no idea who or what I was.

What do you want people to take away from The Bare Melcessities?

Every moment can represent change. Every moment can bring new possibilities. That it is an endlessly abundant and limitless universe. That peace is a practice. That courage means staying open. And that Love is all there is.  It's a great reminder that we can all own that goddess place within... with no apologies.

You refer to yourself as a recovering people pleaser?

I was a board certified people pleaser, feeling bad if I couldn’t solve everyone’s problems. Breaking my life long habit took practice. It took patience. It took acknowledging my way of interacting with others wasn't working, all the connections and associations in my relationships would need to be detangled, and I would have to put myself first. 

You credit your therapist and life coach in the book? What’s that about?

Transformation takes practice and it takes work. Getting to the core of the Mel situation, feeling strength in vulnerability; keeping my heart open when all it wanted to do was keep it shut away in a drawer was something I needed help with. Lots of help.

I have this friend who every time he's asked to do anything always says… "I don’t know how to do that. But, I’m a Jew. We hire people who know how to do that." Professionals are professionals for a reason. When you want something done. Get the best and let them do what they do.

Working with two extraordinary women at the top of their game helped me see more, do more, and achieve more in ways I would never have been able to figure out if left to my own devices.

(The Bare Melcessities is available through various retailers including Amazon.com buy the book.)